Saturday, February 22, 2014


I get that the rotation of the Earth plays a major role in a lot of what goes on—tides, the sun rising, etc etc.  That's fine.  But it is extremely annoying having the Winter Olympics over in Russia.  I mean, the games are on during the workday.  This is just another example of my career getting in the way of me sitting around watching TV all day. 

I like watching hockey.  The interesting thing is that during the Olympics, people who have never watched hockey, ever, are suddenly tuning in and screaming at the television.  Okay, said the judge, I will allow it—you are patriotic.  You can either sign up for the military, venture over to Khandahar and risk life and limb as a member of our proud Canadian military, or you can wear an oversized Team Canada hockey jersey and high five me as I'm coming out of the bathroom at work.  Either way. 

The women's Canadian hockey team played in the gold medal game against the U.S. on Thursday.  The game was on at around noon my time zone (which is definitely not Russia) and so I was at my desk while the game was on.  "No big deal," I quietly mumbled to myself.  "I am PVRing the game just like I PVR the FA Cup soccer final, the World Cup soccer final, and the occasional Sunday Night Football game.  No one cares and I will quietly slink home and watch it."  As long as I stay off Facebook, Twitter, Teaker, Tweaker, Reddit, Donnit, Seenit, and RedDogSeenIt Mobile App, I should be fine. Plus don't look a the elevator TV that shows all the news while I get down to the ground floor or listen to the radio on your way home work.  And don't look anyone in the eye—if they have a happy expression, that could be a hot tip on the final score.

Well, spoiler alert: everyone loves blabbing.  The score was emailed out to everyone at my office.  It was also on television in some office buildings, horns were honking by passing cars, and anyone wearing red was hoisted up onto strangers shoulders and paraded down the main streets in towns and cities all across Canada.  So I figured out that Team Canada won.

Hey, no big deal!  I will just go home and watch the game anyway.  Except that the stupid PVR decided to be stupid and didn't tape the game.  Watching an hour of the People's Court and a cooking show just wasn't the same. 

Hey, no big deal!  I own an iPad and I figured I could watch the replay of the game, somewhere online.  It's the internet, right?  I googled "Women's Olympic Hockey".  No matter what you search for, Myley Cyrus comes up.  Does she own the internet now?  Only 20 minutes later was able to locate CBC's replay of the game.  I clicked on it.  Here we go!  Only that I had to download an app for the CBC Olympics.

Hey, no big deal!  I downloaded the app.  It only took 20 minutes.  (My internet might be a bit slow—an iPad has no moving parts but I swear I heard gears creaking.)  I finally clicked "play" and got ready for the big game!  First, however, there is 5 minutes of advertising.  "The All-New GMC Whatever Truck." 

Hey, no big deal!  The first period started.  I clicked through to the third period.  Wow, what a game!  I got all the way to overtime—it was tied!  Then the app decided it didn't want to play "video" anymore.  It was frozen on the goalie making a save.  So I could hear the announcer screaming like someone was poking him in the going with a pool cue, but I couldn't see anything—just the statue of the goalie.

I didn't want to hear the goal, I was feeling like a diva and wanted to actually see it as well.  I know... picky picky!  I closed the app and relaunched it.  It went back to the first period again.  Oh well.

Hey, no big deal!  I pressed "overtime" and suddenly I was watching overtime again.  Yes!  Only the app decided it needed to play 5 minutes of commercials again.  So I am listening to the announcer yelling and save after save is being made, and all the while I can hear "The All-New GMC Whatever Truck."  Okay, okay, I get it—trucks are cool.  Can I watch the game and listen to it at the same time?  Is this allowed?  Can I talk to the boss?  Is Miley Cyrus around?

I finally saw Team Canada score the big goal and it was a crazy, awesome game.  So the app did work and hey I didn't pay a penny for it so I can't really complain. 

Although I do have an overwhelming desire to buy a GMC Truck.